By myself

I haven't had time to write in here the last couple of days because Kevin's been gone for a week and Robert is teething and I'm potty training Natalie so I've been pretty busy!! I'm happy because the temperature finally rose to 0 and now we can go outside for walks again. We went for a walk yesterday and Robert loved it. He fell asleep half way through. It started snowing and it was pretty. We might go for another walk today.

Actually able to go outside

Today there is no wind and we can actually go outside. It was still a little cold -4 but way better than usual. My window actually opened and I haven't been able to open it for awhile. Natalie and I went and had a fire then I pushed her down the hill a bunch of times while she sat on the sled. Other than that it was a nice relaxing day. I made Greek food for dinner now I'm just trying to get Robert to bed. Natalie is already passed out. We made progress in her potty training. I put her diaper on at 5 because I thought she was gunna go to bed but she asked me to take it off about half hour later and then she pood on the potty. Before she always pood in her pants or diaper if she had one on. So hopefully she will be potty trained completely soon!!! I bought her these bags with a suprise Thomas toy in them and I'm pretty sure that's what motivated her. I told her if she pood in the potty she gets one.

Sleepy

I forgot to post yesterday but most of the day I was absolutely exhausted and just rested as much as I could. Then at 630 we all went swimming and that was nice. Today I am tired too but I drank a coffee so that helps. Another boring day except I went to the mall and bought some socks and a really nice purse. I also picked up a bath bomb and plan to have a nice relaxing bath. Kevin is going away for a week so I need to relax now while I still can ! I took the kids to the library earlier and now we're just gunna relax at home. It's snowing today after it's been really sunny but windy for two weeks.

Gymnastics

The kids and I went to gymnastics today. It was Roberts first time there and you could tell he had a lot of fun. We have been couped up inside a lot lately as its really cold outside and Natalie has been going crazy. Kevin said its because all she eats is sugar but I said its because she has to much energy and she's not burning it off. Well after gymnastics we got home and Natalie layed on the floor and was calm and watched tv for an hour. So I was right! I booked flights for the kids and me to go back to delta for two weeks at the end of the month. That will be good for them as we will have more space to run around and more things to do. Plus be able to go outside. I really hope it doesn't rain the whole time. I'm laying in bed right now while Robert is sleeping in his crib. It's really cold and I realised the window isint shut all the way. I find when i leave the window open even when it's really cold Robert sleeps better. He's nice and bundled under blankets. I'm glad he's getting some fresh air. Natalie and I went to the thrift store today to drop off some clothes that are too small. There was nothing good there to buy today.

Pictures

Today we all went and got family photos. They turned out good. Natalie was being a crazy girl and not co operating as well as she could but we still managed to get good pictures. Other than that today has just been same old. The crazy wind is back and howling at the window right now. When we were at Walmart today there was an old couple who I think we're drunk acting all weird and fighting in the aisle and some guy passes me and was like time to get out of this aisle , it was pretty funny. I tried to watch a movie on Netflix but it's way to hard with all the noise is this house. Maybe one day I'll get me time again !!!

Singing bowl

Today was a typical crazy toddler / baby day filled with messes , jumping , screaming & yelling. I was pretty mad most of the morning dealing with everything but then Kevin woke up and I went out by myself. I drove down to this metaphysical store down the street. Some hitchhiker ran up to my car and mouthed please but I couldn't since its kind of scary and I was just going 2 minutes down the road. When I got to the store I wanted to buy some bath salts but I couldn't since you can't use them when you are nursing. They had these music bowls. When Robert was getting his hearing tested the lady was telling me about them. So I tried it them and they sound so cool. So I bought one! I think it will be fun to use. The rest of the day was ok then we went swimming which was fun. Natalie and Robert love swimming so much. Robert is a natural always kicking his legs. Now me and Kevin are listening to some recordings of Steve and his old girlfriend is talking about ghosts and weird shit.

Hyacinth

I totally forgot that I was growing a hyacinth in my closet. I was reading my Peter rabbit garden book and there was a project for fall page and growing a hyacinth in a jar was there so I tried it. So far it's really growing. I took it out of the closet because it's grown quite big now and put it in the window. It's supposed to bloom in the winter and smell really nice. The point is to have fresh flowers when normally there isint any around ( no flowers in winter) . Today Natalie and I went to the mall and we bought some stuff for crafts. We made Chinese New Year cards. Natalie dumped the whole thing of sparkles onto her card and I tried to clean them up much as I could but there's random sparkles everywhere now!!! Oh well I can handle a few sparkles around the house. I bought some baby crackers for Robert and he loved them. Other than that today has been pretty boring. Still no sleep so I ordered some lavender oil and I'm gunna spray that in the room and see if that helps Robert sleep better! Oh and Kevin was being a jerk yesterday so we were kind of fighting but he made me a separate chilli cuz I don't like how spicy he makes it and I noticed it this morning so it's nice he was mad but still was considerate of me. Today is super windy holy 50 km/h , me and Natalie had to run to the car when we went shopping cuz the snow was getting wiped at our faces. It was kinda funny. I'm going to end my night with a nice relaxing turmeric milk, yum.

Stop thinking to much

I think to much. When I'm reading or watching a show I always catch myself thinking about life and worrying when I should be paying attention the the book or show. And the only reason this is a problem is because they are usually negative thoughts I'm thinking. Well I'm going to start a new thing where if I catch myself thinking to much I'm just going to automatically stop myself and pay attention to what I'm doing at the present time. Hopefully I can make it work !! It's so windy today it sounds like something is beating up my house. I shrank Kevin's sweater so I'm going to try to unshrink it. I feel bad so I really hope it works. I wanted to get family photos and for him to wear it so I need it to work !!!!! And I'm trying to save so I don't want to just go buy another one. Both of the kids are having long naps at the same time today it's really nice. I put on a face mask and have just been relaxing. My kids are driving me crazy and lack of sleep is getting to me so this is really nice. We might go swimming later. I'm looking forward to it so I can relax in the hot tub. But I really don't want to have to leave the house because it's so freaking cold and windy. I watched a show today about a lady saying she made her life better by realizing everything she's grateful for. Once in awhile I tell myself I'm so lucky for what I have and the life that I live and it's true! I'm going to start reminding myself that more. Today Natalie and Kevin were behind me so I couldn't see them but I think Kevin scared Natalie and then he did a scary laugh and Natalie goes " daddy your creepy" it made me laugh inside lol

Pay it forward

I took Natalie grocery shopping with me and we bought some kitten food while we were there. Then we went to go donate it and give the animals at the shelter some love. On the way there I stopped at timmys for a coffee. I always wanted to do the pay it forward and buy the person behind in the lines coffee so today I actually did it! Then we went to the shelter and Natalie loved the animals and gave them the food. I thought it would be a good way to start the year by giving. I was thinking today how I was bored and maybe I should buy some plants or yarn to crochet but the kids will just kill the plants and I won't have much time to crochet. I usually would be impulsive and buy stuff like that then just waste it. But at least the money I spent to give today wasn't a lot and I hope I made some people / kitties happy. Also I want to teach Natalie to have a giving spirit. If everyone payed it forward imagine how awesome the world would be 😌 Earlier today I took the kids to the library and it was dead so it was really nice to just have us hang out and enjoy the books and things. Kevin watched the kids while I had a nap today too which was nice but it was disrupted early by Natalie at the door looking for me 😔

New Year's Day

I was awake pretty much most of the night last night because of Robert so at midnight I was laying in bed and I could hear the fireworks going off. This year I plan to take care of myself better. I plan to not drink for the whole year. Eat as healthy as I can. Sleep and rest when I can ( I'm severely sleep deprived right now) and when my sleep and energy comes back I want to get more exercise. I want to stop thinking in my head so much and live more in the moment. I feel depressed lately as my life has just become a stay at home mom pretty much in a prison. But I put myself here ! I love my family and life but some days I'm so jealous of the people who get the weekends to themselves. I'd kill for a weekend by myself. But then I think I can't leave my kids what would they do without me. I'm sure they would be fine, well Natalie for sure I just need to get Robert off the boob then he would be fine. When I had Robert I would think I had the opposite of post pardum depression I felt so good. But now it's changed. I'm thinking its lack of sleep that's changed. Also Kevin left me alone with the kids for a whole month up here and the stress from that probably ruined my happiness. Well anyways he's back now so I'm going to make him watch the kids now while I get some naps. I need to get a hobby preferably a creative one but once again I need to have more energy from that. Ok enough with the thinking so much !! Today is beautiful and sunny out and this morning has been a pretty lazy one with me just taking care of the kids and tidying up a bit, I'm still in my pjs!! I'm lucky I get to stay home with my kids. Natalie just gave me a mini tea cup with water in it. She's currently playing with her little tea set. She had a poo today that was bright green so I'm taking that as a sign we will get lots of money this new year haha so gross . Robert has been good this morning. He ate some bananas and played. It's the year of the monkey so we're going to be eating lots of bananas for good luck 😜 Kevin was sending me links to trailers to buy, but they are in trailer parks. I don't really want to live in a trailer park, I'd rather have a trailer on a big property away from being so close to people. Neighbors can be annoying as I've learned around here. First day of 2016 not bad so far I'm feeling pretty good just need to get some Dahm sleep !!