Stop thinking to much

I think to much. When I'm reading or watching a show I always catch myself thinking about life and worrying when I should be paying attention the the book or show. And the only reason this is a problem is because they are usually negative thoughts I'm thinking. Well I'm going to start a new thing where if I catch myself thinking to much I'm just going to automatically stop myself and pay attention to what I'm doing at the present time. Hopefully I can make it work !! It's so windy today it sounds like something is beating up my house. I shrank Kevin's sweater so I'm going to try to unshrink it. I feel bad so I really hope it works. I wanted to get family photos and for him to wear it so I need it to work !!!!! And I'm trying to save so I don't want to just go buy another one. Both of the kids are having long naps at the same time today it's really nice. I put on a face mask and have just been relaxing. My kids are driving me crazy and lack of sleep is getting to me so this is really nice. We might go swimming later. I'm looking forward to it so I can relax in the hot tub. But I really don't want to have to leave the house because it's so freaking cold and windy. I watched a show today about a lady saying she made her life better by realizing everything she's grateful for. Once in awhile I tell myself I'm so lucky for what I have and the life that I live and it's true! I'm going to start reminding myself that more. Today Natalie and Kevin were behind me so I couldn't see them but I think Kevin scared Natalie and then he did a scary laugh and Natalie goes " daddy your creepy" it made me laugh inside lol

Pay it forward

I took Natalie grocery shopping with me and we bought some kitten food while we were there. Then we went to go donate it and give the animals at the shelter some love. On the way there I stopped at timmys for a coffee. I always wanted to do the pay it forward and buy the person behind in the lines coffee so today I actually did it! Then we went to the shelter and Natalie loved the animals and gave them the food. I thought it would be a good way to start the year by giving. I was thinking today how I was bored and maybe I should buy some plants or yarn to crochet but the kids will just kill the plants and I won't have much time to crochet. I usually would be impulsive and buy stuff like that then just waste it. But at least the money I spent to give today wasn't a lot and I hope I made some people / kitties happy. Also I want to teach Natalie to have a giving spirit. If everyone payed it forward imagine how awesome the world would be 😌 Earlier today I took the kids to the library and it was dead so it was really nice to just have us hang out and enjoy the books and things. Kevin watched the kids while I had a nap today too which was nice but it was disrupted early by Natalie at the door looking for me 😔

New Year's Day

I was awake pretty much most of the night last night because of Robert so at midnight I was laying in bed and I could hear the fireworks going off. This year I plan to take care of myself better. I plan to not drink for the whole year. Eat as healthy as I can. Sleep and rest when I can ( I'm severely sleep deprived right now) and when my sleep and energy comes back I want to get more exercise. I want to stop thinking in my head so much and live more in the moment. I feel depressed lately as my life has just become a stay at home mom pretty much in a prison. But I put myself here ! I love my family and life but some days I'm so jealous of the people who get the weekends to themselves. I'd kill for a weekend by myself. But then I think I can't leave my kids what would they do without me. I'm sure they would be fine, well Natalie for sure I just need to get Robert off the boob then he would be fine. When I had Robert I would think I had the opposite of post pardum depression I felt so good. But now it's changed. I'm thinking its lack of sleep that's changed. Also Kevin left me alone with the kids for a whole month up here and the stress from that probably ruined my happiness. Well anyways he's back now so I'm going to make him watch the kids now while I get some naps. I need to get a hobby preferably a creative one but once again I need to have more energy from that. Ok enough with the thinking so much !! Today is beautiful and sunny out and this morning has been a pretty lazy one with me just taking care of the kids and tidying up a bit, I'm still in my pjs!! I'm lucky I get to stay home with my kids. Natalie just gave me a mini tea cup with water in it. She's currently playing with her little tea set. She had a poo today that was bright green so I'm taking that as a sign we will get lots of money this new year haha so gross . Robert has been good this morning. He ate some bananas and played. It's the year of the monkey so we're going to be eating lots of bananas for good luck 😜 Kevin was sending me links to trailers to buy, but they are in trailer parks. I don't really want to live in a trailer park, I'd rather have a trailer on a big property away from being so close to people. Neighbors can be annoying as I've learned around here. First day of 2016 not bad so far I'm feeling pretty good just need to get some Dahm sleep !!

New year's eve

I was reading a blog from a family member today as well as someone posted something on Facebook ( I think it was my mom) saying "Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one." Both of these things inspired me to write something everyday for the whole year of 2016!! I always start these things super excited and ambitious and usually stop before I'm even half way through. I'm going to really try this time though because I'd love to read this next New Years and get to see how much really happens in a year. I'm having quite a nice day today. The sun is shining yet it's way to cold to go outside. Me and the kids bundled up and tried but I brought us back in after 5 minutes. Too cold!! It's -11. I'm super exhausted from being up most of the night because Robert wakes up every two hours to eat. He has been doing this for two months now. Maybe a miracle will take place tonight and it will end. Haha it would truly be a miracle. Him and Natalie did go to bed by 6pm though and we didn't get up till 6 am. And Kevin was gone and they both fell asleep easy and at the same time so that was amazing. I also just had a little cat nap with Robert asleep on me on the couch. Natalie was playing on her iPad and leaving us alone for once. I had a dream I went up to some Saint lady and as she was blessing me or whatever and I woke up because Natalie sneezed and the first thing that came to my mind was , bless you. Weird timing I thought but kinda of cool. Maybe it's a good omen for the coming new year. Also my kids usually never nap or relax during the day so this quiet is wonderful and peaceful. Robert is still asleep in my arms as I write this and Natalie has fallen asleep in the bed with her iPad and dinosaurs. Maybe it was the 5 minutes in the cold air that knocked them out ? Who knows but I have to wake them up soon to go pick up Kevin. This morning I lit some sparklers for New Years and we will prob light a couple more later then go to bed early. Natalie likes to hold the sparklers it's cute. Robert was also trying to grab them from her !! Well that's all I'll write until tomorrow goodbye 2015 !!!!